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I’ve missed your posts! It’s so interesting learning about start ups from your candid writing.
That is one of your most perfectly ended pieces!! I was so worried those ending lines were going down the path of feeling guilty and having to defend yourself.
Even when I screw up something with my children, I own it and then feel such strength from the inner voice that says, “I am here, I am present…they know every single day with love & security, I am here and they get the support AND freedom every kid deserves.”
I am definitely steeling the (modified) line: “the guilt never starts because we’re an unschool family.”
Wow, I somehow neglected to realize that assholes like that still exist.
You’ve written about sexual harassment but what you’ve described in this post I don’t think falls into that category. I’ll think of it as and call it parenting harassment.
Nicely said.
In the comments section of your excellent and very honest post “5 Things I was Wrong About” (on the career blog), someone asked you what you got wrong about homschooling. You said:
“…I thought homeschooling would get rid of my guilt. But it doesn’t. I always worry I’m doing enough for my kids. In fact, I have started seeing a psychologist to deal with the incessant guilt. I can’t stand it. I hate the self-doubt and self-hatred that pops up when I think about what I could be doing better for my kids.”
So what has changed in the last few weeks?
Oh, and that investor sounds like a clueless dick. Sorry about that.
Amy, good sleuthing! I actually thought of writing this post because of that comment you found. I realized, though, that the level of self-doubt I have has gone down so much. When the guy asked me who is taking care of my kids, I felt bad for weeks. When the guy said that to me this time, I felt like he is clueless. I still felt bad both times, but the decrease in guilt is so huge, that I feel, most of all, grateful that I’m home with my kids.
Penelope
Really interesting article about hunter-gatherer child-rearing—it might be germane to homeschooling.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201105/how-hunter-gatherers-maintained-their-egalitarian-ways
@Amy.K
All parents – homeschooling ones or school-sending ones, all of them feel guilty about not being good enough parents. It’s hardwired into them to feel that what they are doing isnt going to be enough for their kids.
When you don’t have kids, you feel guilty over not being good to your parents/ spouse/ friends/ siblings.
Noone really lives a guilt-free life. Its one of things that makes us want to improve.
Oh. I’m seeing this now, after I wrote a response to Amy. But Sadya, your response is better than mine. So this is my thumbs up to your comment :)
Penelope
There isn’t a man or woman outside my home that can make me feel guilty about the hours I spend working from home while simultaneously homeschooling my kids.
My guilt is always my own. I make myself own it.
I teach my kids that guilt is something to dissect. It is one of two things: 1) our conscious telling us we need to initiate a change, or 2) a lie we allow room for in our mind.
Neither are acceptable.
If it is #1, we need to make it right.
If it is #2, we need to face the fear at the base of the lie. Usually it is because we are making decisions others do not agree with, do not understand, or do not support.
We allow the guilt because otherwise we have to face the rejection. Rejection is hard to face – even when it is rooted in falsehood.
Make that “conscience”, not conscious. Though I am conscious of my conscience. heh heh