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You are so right, Penelope. Thanks for writing this.
I live in Philly and the schools are a mess. But, a reason why many parents can’t homeschool is that Philadelphia is a very poor city.
“Does your kid sit next to the trouble-maker to calm him down?”
This was always my job. I hated it with a passion.
Sometimes, our entire homeschool is piano. Just… piano.
My little one is unstoppable. Sometimes I have to set a timer on him, just so other people can have a phone conversation or a chance to play the instrument. We also have an electronic keyboard (with headphones) — little man is always there.
And then he gets up there for recitals, all alone and so LITTLE. I know how you feel, Penelope. I can’t do anything for him. Except smile. And maybe a thumbs-up.
Music training is possibly the best training, because all the practice pays off so quickly.
When my kids were taking violin I realized my desire to interfere was based on wanting to learn to play for myself. So I did, and in so doing from a first person perspective realized how harmful interfering would be.
I also came to understand better the emotions, both positive and negative that arise during practice and why many people often “don’t feel like” practicing.
That happened to me too! I decided my son was so terrible at violin that I was going to learn to play so that I could teach him better.
Then I saw how difficult the instrument is. I learned so slowly and I was so bad. I saw how arrogant and insane I was every time I got frustrated with him. And I saw how rude I was when I interrupted a song to correct him.
Honestly, the whole experience made me think he is heroic for learning to play violin in spite of all my interference. And I realized he is actually really good, because if you practice every day you can’t help but be good.
He’s not great. He’s not going to be a professional musician, but instead of returning my full-sized violin rental, I pay the fee each month to keep it resting on top of the piano to remind myself to leave my son alone and have respect for how hard he works and how well he plays.
Penelope
This is such a beautiful, loving comment, Penelope!
I found your response to be life affirming to me as well. Sorry it took a week to get back to it!
That’s fantastic! I love that you tried the violin and realised how hard it was. I don’t have kids (3 weeks to go) but I know that arrogant feeling that ‘I could do it better’ and it’s a good lesson to learn that you can’t!
“When parents decide to put their kids in school, they are deciding to step back” Such a riveting and utterly true statement!
Forest Rose
Yes yes yes! And as my boys begin homeschool band this year, may I learn to keep my big fat mouth shut. I needed to read this. Thank you!