I don’t have a daughter, but I did have Melissa living with me for long time. That made me feel a little bit like she was my daughter, and when she left, she made herself a page on my site, which I love to look at when I’m feeling nostalgic.

She also left me with a sense that there are some things that girls definitely need to learn before they go out into the world, so they can make better decisions for themselves.

1. Teach girls they have choices. Not everyone has to earn money.
Every week I coach women who are trying to decide what to do with their career as they turn 30. And nearly all women have the same problem: Why did I get all this education if I’m just going to stay home?

I want to tell you how to change the world: Raise girls who think it’s fine to go to school and get a great education and then spend their days baking cookies with their kids. The biggest problem with that idea is that we’ve all been brainwashed to think that staying at home is a disappointment. Be a revolutionary by showing girls a world where smart kids grow up to be housewives. 

Also, please please pay attention to your daughter’s personality type. Girls are most likely to have the personality types that are not rewarded in school: care-taking, for example, is a proclivity one is born with. But there is no outlet for that in the world that values more and more education.

Once you know your daughter’s personality type, you can help her find things to do that are consistent with her natural values and not necessarily what society values in children. Or in adults.

2. Teach girls how their brains work differently from those of boys.
They should celebrate that difference instead of faking it. If you tell girls their brains are the same as boys then the girls think there’s something wrong with them when they see the stark, clear evidence that they are different.

First teach girls that our different biology means we want different things. Men go to work for power, women go to work for recognition, according to research published in the Harvard Business Review. Once girls understand that, they might not be so upset to see the boy with a lower test score making more money than they do.

Men like high stakes tight deadlines. Women don’t. This is not conjecture—brain scans show that men get more competitive under time pressure, while women get less competitive under time pressure.

3. Teach sex education. Because no one else is going to teach it.
Time magazine reports that in the Age of Internet, school sex-ed is as good as non-existent. Eighty percent of kids have sex before receiving any responsible information about sex. So instead of hearing about contraception, STDs, and oral sex, kids hear only about abstinence, which leaves them largely clueless.

Also, having a talk about sex with their kids is difficult for parents because kids are exposed to so much more than parents were at the same age. Time magazine rounded up experts who agree that YouTube is a great tool for sex ed: “Laci Green has made a name for herself by providing frank and funny videos that answer common questions young people have and dispel myths. Her approach is not for everyone; two of her more popular episodes are You Can’t POP Your Cherry! (Hymen 101) and Sex Object BS.”

If you want your daughter to be in control of her destiny, help her get control of her sexuality. The barrier between sexuality and career issues quickly becomes murky.

Camille Paglia says sex education focuses on mechanics without conveying the real “facts of life,” especially for girls: “I want every 14-year-old girl . . . to be told: You better start thinking what do you want in life. If you just want a career and no children you don’t have much to worry about. If, however, you are thinking you’d like to have children some day you should start thinking about when do you want to have them. Early or late? To have them early means you are going to make a career sacrifice, but you’re going to have more energy and less risks. Both the pros and the cons should be presented.”

4. Teach girls to ask for help.
We have this crazy culture where kids get help from teachers, but there is no encouragement for kids to get help from people who are not paid to teach them. The problem is that in the real world, you have the most success by getting the most effective mentors. And women have a harder time than men getting mentors because people like to mentor someone who is like them.

This is why it’s important for you to push your daughter to seek mentoring from other people—outside of your friends and acquaintances. When Melissa was at my house, she was so good at asking me for help. She was great at deciding she wanted something and then every time she was stuck, she’d ask me how to get unstuck. I was probably not a parent figure to her as much as a mentor, one that was very invested in her success.

While Melissa was at my house, I realized that one of the hardest things about getting a mentor is being good at asking questions. It’s a difficult skill but one that Melissa had down cold at a very young age. (Probably because she was homeschooled!)

5. Teach girls how to manage how people perceive them. 
We know that women are penalized for negotiating salary and men are rewarded. This is not because the world is evil or life is unfair. It’s because people perceive men and women differently and we can’t overcome millions of years of evolution in one generation. So teach girls how to deal with reality. For example, ask for a better job title instead of a higher salary. The higher job title can make up the salary difference in the next set of negotiations, and you won’t be penalized for asking.

Another example of managing perception? How women dress. Of course you know that people judge women on how they dress much more harshly than they judge men. Don’t pretend the world is a perfect place; teach your daughter to navigate an imperfect world. Show her how to dress in a way that is right for her. Carol Tuttle’s online course Dressing Your Truth shows women how to figure out their energy type and then dress in a way that authentically expresses their energy type.

I like that approach because it teaches girls how to both follow rules and make those rules fit themselves. And really, that’s what making our way through life is all about—learning the rules so we know which ones feel right to us and which cross our personal boundaries for decency. It’s a complicated, difficult lesson that is best introduced through concrete things like condoms, careers, and clothing.

59 replies
  1. Kirsten
    Kirsten says:

    “how to change the world: Raise girls who think it’s fine to go to school and get a great education and then spend their days baking cookies with their kids. ”

    YES. YES. YES!!!!!!!!
    Thanks for saying this, when most people won’t. This is what I did, and this is what I tell my daughter.

    • Computer
      Computer says:

      What’s the point of getting a great education and then spending days baking cookies? Why not go straight to baking cookies?

      It’s better to teach your kids regardless of gender that good grades don’t guarantee success in life.

      • YesMyKidsAreSocialized
        YesMyKidsAreSocialized says:

        “What’s the point of getting a great education and then spending days baking cookies? Why not go straight to baking cookies?” Theoretically, if you are in a top tier college, you should be surrounded by much better suitors than just going straight to baking cookies. This should allow you the opportunity to live life more comfortably on one income.

        • Bostonian
          Bostonian says:

          I wonder if it gave you pause, YMKAS, to argue that women should mostly go to college so they can meet rich or ambitious men to marry.

          It certainly fits with my feeling that homeschooling is for most a very conservative choice.

          Don’t think I’m criticizing you. Personally, I think my daughter should go to college so she can make enough money to support a stay at home dad. And my son… You see where this is going.

          You’d get a kick out of the way she plays house.

          • YesMyKidsAreSocialized
            YesMyKidsAreSocialized says:

            B,

            Don’t confuse my advancing a theory with support for it. I have heard that very idea proposed by a female Harvard alum in the past and considered that it could be a view that many hold.

            Personally, if my own girls choose college they will have my support for different reasons. Also, there dad is a feminist, so going to college to get married isn’t in his lexicon. He is one of those managers that puts women on equal ground with men in both hiring decisions and salary negotiation. I hope there will be more people like him in 20 years and less of the unintentionally bigoted kind.

            What are your thoughts?

          • Bostonian
            Bostonian says:

            YMKAS, my feelings on gender are very different from PT’s. I believe that a very large component of gender is socially constructed, not biologically determined, and that even the biologically determined differences are expressed as bell curves that overlap significantly. The strongest female is stronger than the average male, and the most nurturing male is more nurturing than the average female. I’m not going to get too into math, but I see the overlap well below two sigmas.

            For that reason, encouraging little girls to limit their self-concept through exaggerated gender essentialism is not doing them a favor. People have to find out who _they_ are, not who the average person is. I would never follow most of the advice given above, and I’m glad my parents and my wife’s parents didn’t either, or we might not be who we are. My wife would be miserable as a stay-at-home parent, and I would be miserable as a corporate executive.

            I see an awful lot of deviation from the mean in my family. My brother-in-law is an awesome caregiver to his baby (his wife not so much), and my mother was a professional mathematician (my dad fuhgeddaboutit). My son is very nurturing, and my daughter is very brave. I don’t intend to teach either one of them that they should try harder to meet traditional gender norms. They are who they are, and as we abandon ancient prejudices we can help them become their best selves instead of forcing them into limited roles.

            That said, I agree that if a person comes to the conclusion that what they want for a family lifestyle is one great career and one stay-at-home parent, then finding a mate at a good college is an excellent idea, because most great careers come out of them. When I was ready for a permanent commitment, I didn’t go trolling the bars, I went back to a college reunion. I tell my son he doesn’t have to learn only math and science; he also has to learn how to dance and how to cook. But mate-shopping is an insufficient reason to go to college in the first place; if you’re not into it for its own sake, it’s a huge waste of time and money.

            Now if you’ll excuse me I have a pie to bake.

      • kirsten
        kirsten says:

        My university education has only helped me be a better mother/home educator. I don’t regret it at all, college was part of my plan, even though being a homemaker was my goal. Getting the most education you can helps you be a better citizen, role model, and mother.

        • Jana
          Jana says:

          I finished my degree, worked for a bit and then had children and stayed home with them. I homeschooled them too. Having my education and other experiences such as travel makes me who I am as a mom and home educator. You can only give to your children what you have. I’ve always wanted to keep learning myself to stay interesting to the people around me. It’s probably an INFJ thing?! Great conversations are important to me :)

      • Amy A
        Amy A says:

        Anyone who doesn’t think college or job experience is valuable in at-home parenting has a distorted view of what at-home parenting is and all that it entails.

        Additionally, present-parenting has provided me with so many growth and learning experiences that I have so many more abilities and skills to use at my part-time weekend job than pre-kids when I had my career. I am also wiser, stronger, and more direct–thanks to being a conscious SAHM.

        Jana, I am an INFJ too.

        P.S. I don’t bake cookies.

    • YesMyKidsAreSocialized
      YesMyKidsAreSocialized says:

      My husband enjoys being in leadership roles. If he only did his job because he had to and not because he was passionate about it, he wouldn’t be paid as much as he is.

      I think there needs to be clarification, that it is alpha males and females who crave power. The betas and omegas work for different reasons.

  2. YesMyKidsAreSocialized
    YesMyKidsAreSocialized says:

    Wow, this post is quite provocative!

    None of my three girls personalities are conducive to staying at home. INTP-a scientist, ENFP- independent comedic entertainer, ENTJ-bossy dictator. They haven’t ever expressed any sense of care-taking, even in how they play. I know daughters of friends who you are talking about. The personality of the traditional caretaker is easy to identify. My girls don’t have that. I think they will still make excellent mothers if they choose to go that route.

    Unschooling has allowed me to open my mind a little more to the different possibilities that exist in life, outside of a corporation or school controlling everything. Since we are free to be our authentic selves, embrace our quirks, and live our lives based on our passions, I can only imagine that this will continue into their adult life. I foresee my kids creating their own alternative path that hasn’t been presented here or that I can pre-plan for.

    They are also extremely fortunate to have a father who provides financially for us to live this lifestyle, and who more than pulls his weight in the domestic household realm. I can’t see them settling for anything less than someone like their father.

    My advice for them will be “if you choose to get marred, find a nerd!” That was my own mother’s advice to me. I married a video game playing mechanical engineer who is a high earner. In order for that to happen, it may require being in an environment of engineers in college. Will it be a waste? I don’t think it will be a waste if after having gone to college they are happy with their *choices* in life.

    With #3, I am beyond ready for this to happen. My oldest already knows the mechanics. I really want to give more than my own mother gave me, awkward and uncomfortable information that wasn’t anything I already learned in my 5th grade sex class at school. In turn, I was quite naive about many things until college.

    • Computer
      Computer says:

      “Wow, this post is quite provocative!”

      That’s the point! More comments, more traffic, more money.

      “If you choose to get marred, find a nerd!”

      Looks like the best advice a mother can give to her daughters these days.

    • CeeBee
      CeeBee says:

      Marrying a nerd is The Best Thing Ever. There is not a thing my husband can’t fix, figure out, or create. And I’d definitely say the same of his female counterparts at work, as well. So yeah, marry a nerd!

    • Amy A
      Amy A says:

      I hated babystting as a kid–not that I disliked kids; I mostly didn’t like entertaining and not being able to do my own thing. And during my whole childhood through my 20s, I swore I wouldn’t have children.

      The biggest reasons were knowing I would parent them differently than I was parented, and I was unsure if I had it in me to parent them like I believed they would deserve. In other words, I was well aware of the massive responsibility it would be and the strength and courage it would require.

      Both my pregnancies were planned, as I had changed my mind in my 30s due to experiencing my grandfather’s touching dying process.

      So you just never know. Your kids are so young too. They have so much emotional growth ahead of them.

  3. Lucy Chen
    Lucy Chen says:

    I wish I was taught and shown how to do these things when I was a little girl! Instead, I grew up thinking “caring” was weak. Can you see how that made an INFJ feel?

    • YesMyKidsAreSocialized
      YesMyKidsAreSocialized says:

      That is so sad that you weren’t appreciated for the caring person that you are.

      Caring isn’t weakness, and being power-hungry isn’t strength. Having the freedom to be authentic is huge. I never had that growing up. I was raised and schooled with people who believed that women are weak and men are strong. Such ridiculous line of thinking. I had to undo a lot of indoctrination from my youth. It has been so freeing to do so.

  4. Hannah
    Hannah says:

    If you’re going to teach girls that not everyone has to make money, then its really important to teach girls how to care for a marriage. It makes me nervous when I see women who have horrible marriages and no marketable skills.

    • Diana
      Diana says:

      I think P says in another post that schools and families should teach relationship skills, so I assumed that when reading this. But that’s exactly it.

  5. mh
    mh says:

    I would add: Learn to practice. It’s not enough to have a ritual of work – a person must be able to focus on one skill and improve that skill.

    It’s not enough to say,” My goal is to be good at public speaking.” And then feel miserable when you give lots of presentations and they flop. Instead, practice telling a joke. Practice the Rule of Three. Practice voice pitch and rhythm and modulation. Practice your laugh. Get coaching.

    Same with saying,” I want a good marriage.” You have to practice: budgeting, time management, conflict resolution, when to shut up (strategic retreats), household chores, parenting. And focus every day on having a good sex life.

    Happiness in life is mainly about self control. What you practice becomes permanent.

  6. YesMyKidsAreSocialized
    YesMyKidsAreSocialized says:

    Bostonian,

    Responding down here to your post.

    You are hilarious! “I have a pie to bake” hahaha! I really enjoyed your comment, it made me laugh a lot. I actually am quite mathy myself, so anytime you want to throw numbers around I am on board for the discussion.

    I agree with a lot of what you said. There is no forced gender norming going on in the YMKAS house. We embrace each of our children as they are, their unique gifts are nurtured, and we encourage them to be risk takers, to try, fail, recover, try again and succeed.

    Raising all girls who run counter to gender stereotypes gives me a unique perspective. Well-meaning relatives have seen heartbreak and tears over gifting dolls every year, so instead I put together a nice list for those well-meaning relatives that include items that I know the kids will truly enjoy, Pokemon and Minecraft are all the rage here. Dolls or dresses? May I have the gift receipt for that, please? It is who_they_are, and I won’t let them believe that they are doing anything wrong, because they aren’t. I definitely never fit gender norms, I was a tomboy and generally get a long with men better than women. Yes, I’m that annoying woman playing poker with the guys instead of hanging with the gossiping gertie’s in the other room. I think my life turned out pretty ok.

    If I had boys instead of girls, who weren’t gender conforming either, I wouldn’t try to change them. If I had boys who wanted to bake, be a caretaker, dance, sing or whatever doesn’t fit the stereotype, they would have full freedom to be who_they_are. Setting our kids up for success is the goal. Being authentic and living a passion-filled life is what we embrace.

    Unschooling allows that, it has let me see life in a new way and be a better mom and friend. There aren’t any have-to’s or shoulds. I don’t disagree with everything in her post, I think #3 and #4 are important for everyone though. #5 and teaching how to dress is important for my oldest, call her absent-minded or something but she needs a lot of help in deciding what looks good to wear, she doesn’t want to intentionally look like a disaster when she dresses, whereas my middle daughter does it to be ironic.

  7. Julie
    Julie says:

    And I say yes to the reference to Camille paglia who, like you, taught me to make my way through life without giving me the usual bullshit we hear about women.

  8. Aquinas Heard
    Aquinas Heard says:

    It’s interesting that Penelope titled her post, Homeschool Curriculum for Girls. As I was reading through her post, the idea that kept popping up in my head was: talk with your children, whether they are boys or girls, about life.

    If you’ve be honoring your child’s volition consistently throughout their life, then they have been internalizing that they DO have choices. No need to “teach” it. As far as baking cookies and/or getting a college education, these are options. In an unschooling household, I don’t understand how a female child would think they SHOULD do one or the other or why they would evaluate one or the other as a “lesser” choice.

    No doubt there are some substantial differences between boys and girls. I don’t know much about brain chemistry concerning kids, other than I assume boys have more testosterone than girls. The general behavioral differences between boys and girls are easy to observe among kids, even when they are very young.

    I don’t agree with this:

    “Men go to work for power, women go to work for recognition, according to research published in the Harvard Business Review.”

    I’m assuming this research is based on interviews with men and women, 95% at least, who went to school, and most likely public school. Penelope, why don’t you do your own survey, among all of your homeschoolers (and their spouses), to see if your non-conventional readership answers the question the same way. I highly doubt it.

    I know I go to work because, on the most fundamental level, I enjoy being productive. I like using my mind to figure out things and then implementing a course of action. I gain tremendous self-esteem from knowing how capable my mind is. The aspect of power, whether concerning my interaction with my direct customers (parents) or my students or my coaches, never enters my mind.

    I view gaining self-esteem through power as being a result of second-handedness (other people oriented, especially their views of you), which is most definitely instilled in almost all schools. Public schools (and many private schools) are set-up as power plays. A young child in that setting sees that they are at the mercy of those who are in power. It is little wonder that they will internalize: either others have power over me or I need to have power over them. If you are going to work because doing so makes you feel powerful (over others) rather than feeling capable, something is wrong with you. I would also guess that if this same person became a homeschooler, they would be the authoritarian type when it comes to interacting with their child(ren).

    Going to work, primarily for recognition, is a problem as well. It is also the result of second-handedness (being motivated by others rather than self-motivation). This, too, is indicative of “values” that have most likely been instilled through years of typical (public) education and/or bad parenting. I see a pretty straight line from a child who is dependent on their teacher’s gold stars for self-esteem to a woman who primarily pursues work for recognition. This makes me think of Sally Field’s acceptance speech at the 1984 Oscars.

    The value of productiveness and the resultant self-assessment that leads to pride can be derived from being in the “workforce” OR by being a homemaker. You can be efficacious in either.

    Also, why would an unschooled girl ever “be so upset to see the boy with a lower test score making more money than they do.” Has envy been instilled in this girl by her parents?

    Of course you should talk to your child, whether boy or girl, about sex. It’s an eventual significant part of life. A damn good one too. I think an interesting question concerning this subject would be: How do you lay down the groundwork so that your child will be comfortable talking with you about any subject, including sex?

    In a homeschooling household, I don’t see why you would have to teach a child to ask for help. They’ve learned through their interaction with their parents that it is ok to ask for help. Also, isn’t the child seeing their parents ask for help?

    If my daughter asked me for advice concerning attire, I would offer what little I know or point her to a source who knew much more. Many people definitely judge others based on how they dress (and look). I would explain to my daughter about how this can often times be the case and how this might affect all kinds of prospects for herself (if she asked). But I would never encourage her to dress in certain ways. That’s her choice.

    This is a little broader but there is some overlap with the attire issue. I would never teach my daughter to “follow rules.”

    Marie Curie didn’t try to follow the rules. Amelia Earhart didn’t try to follow the rules. Ayaan Hirsi Ali didn’t try to follow the rules. Rosa Parks didn’t try to follow the rules. And one of my top heroes, Maria Montessori didn’t try to follow the rules.

    No thank you, not for my daughter.

    I would explain to her how there can be rules in different situations and I would discuss with her how to assess the “rules”. Then she would decide whether or not it was worth it, for her, to “follow the rules.”

    I am definitely not a feminist. However, of course women are just as capable as men.
    ——————————————————
    This, by Bostonian, is very insightful: For that reason, encouraging little girls to limit their self-concept through exaggerated gender essentialism is not doing them a favor. People have to find out who _they_ are, not who the average person is.

    • YesMyKidsAreSocialized
      YesMyKidsAreSocialized says:

      “I am definitely not a feminist. However, of course women are just as capable as men.”

      …and men are just as capable as women. Men who are caretakers, stay at home dads, or more sensitive shouldn’t be mocked or denigrated for it.

      If you stand for equality (not sameness) then you are a feminist. Sorry.

      I agree with your point about the survey. I’m certain those are traditionally schooled folks who are used to being controlled by the system. There are many alternative outcomes that haven’t been presented here.

      I might reword the points a little:

      #1 Teach girls that there are many choices in life and they can’t have it all. Men already know this.

      #2 Teach girls to embrace who they are and to be authentic.

      #3 Sex education isn’t just about mechanics. Make sure that you are creating an environment where nothing is off-limits to talk about.

      #4 Have your daughter seek out her own mentor.

      #5 Teach your daughter how people might perceive her, but teach her to not let others have influence over who she is or try to change her. Teach her to embrace her quirks.

      • Bostonian
        Bostonian says:

        Aquinas hits the nail on the head here. To the extent these are things you should talk to your girls about, they’re things you should talk to all your children about. So let’s reword the points even more:

        #1 Teach your children that there are many choices in life and they can’t have it all. Women are likely to forget this until it’s too late, just like men. The only difference is the timeline can sneak up on women a bit quicker.

        #2 Teach children to embrace who they are and to be authentic.

        #3 Sex education isn’t just about mechanics. Make sure that you are creating an environment where nothing is off-limits to talk about.

        #4 Have your children seek out their own mentors.

        #5 Teach your children how people might perceive them, but teach them to not let others have influence over who they are or try to change them. Teach them to embrace their quirks.

        The pie came out nicely, thank you. It’s nice that apples get ripe about the same time that it gets cool enough to use the oven again. I made it with all Cortlands – we picked them together last Monday. And using vodka in the crust does seem to help increase flakiness.

        • Penelope Trunk
          Penelope Trunk says:

          I think these are all topics that are not nearly as big an issue for boys than girls. I think there are other topics that boys need to hear. For example, it’s okay to not like sports. It’s okay to think about sex nonstop. It’s okay play video games all the time. These are things that girls just don’t have to deal with.

          And, the list is about things boys don’t particularly need pushing on. For example: boys are great at getting mentors because the people in the workplace in their 40s (the best mentors) are mostly men, and people like to mentor people who remind them of themselves.

          Penelope

          • Bostonian
            Bostonian says:

            I think we’re talking past each other to some extent.

            Looking for mentors in the workplace isn’t advice for a girl. You are talking about advice you’d like to give women. Perhaps the most appropriate advice is different for women than for men. My wife founded a network to promote female-female mentoring in the workplace, so I understand this is a real thing for women. But it’s irrelevant to raising children.

            As someone who has a little girl, I’m more focused on what’s appropriate for children. What’s needed, in my experience, is really quite the same for boy children and girl children. For example, one of the important lessons every child – boy or girl – must learn is that it’s not okay to play video games all the time.

            Playing video games all the time can interrupt dinner, interfere with sleep, make you cranky, make you neglect other work, and prevent you from being creatively bored.

            I know you like to bait people with extreme positions, but you don’t even believe that one. Your children could not be musicians if they played video games all the time, because musicianship takes a lot of time.

        • Melissa
          Melissa says:

          Regarding your 10:43 post-
          I agree, especially that there are so many socially constructed aspects to gender, we really can’t tease out the biological influence.

          I so often wish that these posts of Penelope’s attributed the power of gender roles to socialization rather than biology. A lot of the advice is still quite practical.

          Another wish: Disqus for the comments system. Is there someone who can figure out how to add it to the new posts going forward, but keep all the old comments intact?

        • YesMyKidsAreSocialized
          YesMyKidsAreSocialized says:

          Bostonian,

          I like your rewording. I wasn’t aware that we were discussing women in the workplace when I originally read the post, I thought this was about homeschooling daughters. Now I’m confused on how #1, #2 ,#4 and #5 work if with #1 and #2, girls should stay home and not worry about earning money, and #4 and #5 they need to get mentors in the workplace and not push for salary negotiation.

          I also agree with your comment from the other day about biology vs social constructs that I couldn’t reply to directly. If scientists have two human brains in a lab, are they able to tell which brain is female and which brain is male simply by analyzing it? I also think most gender roles are social constructs and arguments about biology are the arguments that people have been making forever to keep men and women from being treated equally.

          My brain hurts… but maybe it’s because I have a girl brain? I think I’ll go back to working on algebra for fun. Numbers calm me down.

      • Aquinas Heard
        Aquinas Heard says:

        I don’t use the feminist label for myself. Nowadays (or for the last 10-15 years?) it implies an overall support for the political agenda of the left. I am definitely not part of the political left. On the flip side, I’m not a conservative either. I am an Objectivist.

        As I said earlier, I think women are just as capable as men. And, like you said, men are just as capable as women. As far as equality, it’s equality before the law that is of utmost importance to me.

  9. Cait
    Cait says:

    INFJ homemaker/homeschooler here. Totally agree. And agree that Ivy League education is good way meet a providing husband.

  10. Kristy
    Kristy says:

    Carol Tuttle’s online course Dressing Your Truth, has the worst intro, it goes on and on.

    If you know her, you should tell her to work on a short intro video.

  11. Casey Kennedy
    Casey Kennedy says:

    INTP here, with zero interest in children until I had my own. Now I would go so far as to say I consider being a stay at home mom my vocation. I think many people reacting to this kind of post were raised in a male dominant world, but for those of us born late 1980’s on, we have lived in a female dominant world where every man is generalized as a Homer Simpson and every woman a Carrie Bradshaw. To emerge from that culture and realize, wait, I WANT to stay home, I find pushing papers, grading papers, filing lawsuits, etc nearly meaningless compared to raising my own children, is to wonder if you have failed. What PT is telling us is, no, you haven’t failed, you were MADE for this. And that is a huge comfort.

  12. mh
    mh says:

    Submission, burkas, IED deployment, and anti-semitism are the proper studies for girls. Duh.

    You have to be carefully taught.

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