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13 replies
  1. K
    K says:

    I was listening to a couple of homeschool moms talking 2 weeks ago at church.
    One said to the other: “So-and-so is leading that group because her kids were all homeschooled and they all went to college, so you know she did it right.”

    and I thought. hmmm. Does that mean she did it right? Homeschoolers still see college as the end goal, if for no other reason than to prove something to the public school kids.

  3. Bec Oakley
    Bec Oakley says:

    I love that the first photo makes it look like you made your kids wear bike helmets at the playground :)

    It’s ridiculously hard to act outside of norms. I get confidence by telling myself that I wouldn’t be any happier following the trend.

    It would be so much easier if you could be left alone to be non-conformist in peace, but everyone is constantly on your case when you don’t follow the line.

    Also, pillow fights rock.

  4. Lynn Lawrence
    Lynn Lawrence says:

    for me, the key is to always be prepared with options if something doesn’t work out. The world is not perfect, so sometimes it’s ok to experience that, within certain parameters. However, especially when the adults I’ve allowed in charge of my child are making mistakes with my child, that’s when I pull the plug and pull out an option.

    In this way, we are also teaching our kids about their own soverignity, and the soverignity of the family vs. an institution. At the very heart of of some of our nation’s biggest problems are so many of the logical outcomes resulting from never bucking the institution. “I’m just a cog in a wheel’, “It’s not MY problem” ” I’m not responsible”.

    • Penelope Trunk
      Penelope Trunk says:

      This is so true! It’s such an important lesson to tell kids that if adults are doing something sub-par, the kids don’t need to partake.

      So, hooray that it never once occurred to my kids that we would stay in a program that is stupid.

      Penelope

  5. P Flooers
    P Flooers says:

    I never miss an opportunity to stress to my children they should not tolerate poor teaching. Hard teaching, yes. Poor teaching, never.

    Your son’s shock at the behavior of the other students is familiar as well. My kids have often been aghast at the behavior of their schooled peers who are, in their words, “so bratty, gosh!”

  6. cris
    cris says:

    You hit the homeschooler perspective on the head here, Penelope. This is why it is so important to have access to a forum of fellow homeschoolers who can give you their experiences with any program/class you are interested in before you shell out the money or waste your time with it. Too many programs are too similar to the traditional school model and slap on a “homeschool friendly” label simply because it’s offered during school hours or because they will accept payment with charter school funds. The further you get away from the school model, the less you’ll be able to stomach such programs. This is attested by the fact that the homeschoolers who are the most school-y are the ones who are most likely to rave about them.
    As for bucking trends: yes, this is one of the biggest dilemmas of hsing. How far are you willing to step away from convention, even as it seems more and more ridiculous the farther away you get and the more evidence you personally witness with your own kids to support an alternative? How much do you trust that your choices will still allow your kid to find happiness in a world that points to the very system you reject as the best, most efficient way to success? Most people cannot homeschool because it requires a constant consideration of this very question.

  7. Daniel Baskin
    Daniel Baskin says:

    I love the picture you chose. I have one sibling, an older brother about the same age difference of your sons. I don’t know how much they like to rough house or beat each other up (as long as it’s outside), but I see it as having been an essential component of our bonding. Anyway.

    The great thing about bucking trends and choosing your battles of bucking trends while bucking others, is that eventually, that quiet resilience–if it is sturdy / inert–then it becomes a counter trend, even if you don’t mean it to be, because it encourages others to question. I guess the irony might be is that it works best when you aren’t worried about anyone but your own decisions.

    • Penelope Trunk
      Penelope Trunk says:

      It’s really comforting to hear that you saw the rough housing as a way to bond. Because their constant fighting is a source of anxiety for me. I have read a lot of books that say I shouldn’t stop it, but honestly, I can’t stand listening to it. So I decided that if I take pictures of it for my blog then maybe I’ll be able to tolerate it. It’s like I’m not really there, I’m just taking pictures :)

      Penleope

      • Daniel Baskin
        Daniel Baskin says:

        You can’t always be there when your kids fight. You can’t always know if they are being too rough. I mean, don’t not put your foot down just because it’s normal for them to fight. But it’s also valid to let them know that it’s not okay to fight in genteel company (you).

  8. lhamo
    lhamo says:

    I love that your kids were more interested in the prospect of a pillowfight than the prospect of attending an elite college.

    A very brave and talented friend of mine just posted a link to this on Facebook and I think you will like it — another brave and talented woman who does not let people put her in unhealthy boxes, and who has lots of interesting ideas about education:

    http://hackeducation.com/2012/08/29/the-real-reason-i-dropped-out-of-a-phd-program/

    I came here hoping I would find an appropriate place to share this, and here it was. Complete with your link to the post about how you quit grad school. How cool is that?

  9. Mark W.
    Mark W. says:

    Your story of a much anticipated and planned music workshop that turned out for you and your sons to be a disappointment was for me more a lesson in flexibility and adaptability than bucking trends. Maybe it’s just my perspective since I’m often more concerned about practicality than trending. We have only so much control in our lives regardless of the amount of planning we do. Couple the control factor with constant change and adaptability is a key skill for any child to learn.

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