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A swim mom’s observations of raising an olympic swimmer along with her influence and support (she lives with her at Stanford!). I appreciate how the mother leaves the decisions up to the daughter, like should she swim for her high school team (no)….and she still made it to Stanford and the gold medal..
https://swimswam.com/swimmommonday-a-conversation-with-simone-manuels-mom-sharron/
I have not read the Little Girls book, but I did come across one of the recent athletes from Rio gym team (Ali I think it was) mention that she wonders all the time who she would be if she wasn’t a gymnast. I thought that the comment as a public person with her accomplishments is a little strange. I’m guessing she is very grateful for her success, but I don’t think it was her decision (her mom enrolled her at 2). Which as I’m typing, reminds me of a Taylor S. interview in which she explained she had to find the confidence to confront her mother at age 12 about stopping professional horseback-riding because she realized it was her mom’s dream for her, and not her own.
People are going to get where they are headed, but more effectively and perhaps naturally if nurtured and independently supported in their own decisions. It all lends to self-confidence.
That’s a great link. Thanks. There are tons of interviews with moms of exceptional swimmers. Most of it is fluff, but hidden between those sentences are some gems about the sacrifices families make. Part of being close to a mom is being able to get her attention away from siblings — so hard when there’s an exceptional performer in the family.
Penelope
Knowing what we know (homeschool community with all our experience and research) it is heartbreaking to watch kids suffer. Lack of sleep, no time with their parents, girls I know from gymnastics who staid shorter because the stress suppressed their growth hormone.
Wow, I have done heaps of research on raising kids + education, but I always read it was a girl’s relationship with her father that mattered the most when it comes to self-esteem (I’m thankful that my husband is a great father to all of our kids, including our daughter). However, reading this post was very encouraging to me – I think I will see my relationship with my daughter with a slighter different nuance from now on. And I’m very glad she’s homeschooled…by me :)
It takes time being a woman.
It took me a looooong time and a lot of getting to know myself to say that with confidence and aplomb.
Personally, I’m cyclical. I’m learning to make my plans to allow for biology to change and instead of fighting it, I ride the wave with it. It’s a lot like a baby deer learning to walk but I’m making progress while learning.
I learned from my mom that getting older is a thing to celebrate. It has never made me afraid like it does more women. Her self confidence was tied to other things than youthful looks. So it didn’t bother her.
It takes time to just be.
When I was a little girl they had this thing: Take Our Daughters to Work Day. Looking back I don’t understand why the half of the moms who were housewives were so ok with this. Didn’t they feel insulted and undervalued?
One mom we knew was a “trophy” wife, not my ideal picture of a woman exactly, but I loved her response which was to keep her daughter home and play tennis and ride horses to show her what her day as the wife of a rich man was like. Hahaha. Very subversive in a way…
I hope I can make my daughter see the warmth in housewifery and the spiritual meaning, even if she does something else. I hope keeping us both in the home while she’s a child gives us a special feminine bond.
I thought take daughters to work was just an alternative to being in school? Thats how I experienced it, and I loved it ha. Silly looking back, but I loved the idea of skipping school to be in the ‘real world’.
I’ve never thought about how a girl’s quality time with her mom is correlated with her self esteem, but I don’t know of very many exceptions to this. And ladies I know who had lots of quality time with their moms (especially those with moms who stayed home) almost always choose to be home with their children, regardless of their personalities. That’s really interesting.
I’m lucky. my mom always give me time. she is a good friend more than a mother. nice post anyway
Some of the very best moments in my life were with my daughter when she was a teen. Understand her, talk to her, ask her – do not let the moments pass without savoring them.