We went to visit my brother in New York City when his baby was born. My kids loved holding her. Finally.
There’s been a lot of lead-up to this. For example, the last time we visited, as we were going up to the apartment, in the elevator, my six-year-old said, “If Aunt Kristen is pregnant, does that mean she and Uncle Adam had sex?”
I said, “Yes.”
My son said, “Do you think I could ask Uncle Adam if he liked it?”
The people in the elevator nearly died laughing.
I said, “People like having sex with someone they love. But it would not be good manners to ask Uncle Adam about a specific time. That’s private.”
I have learned, over the past two years, to be very clear about sex questions. We live on a farm. I get a lot of questions.
For example: “When a mom and a dad have sex, does the dad have to bite the girl’s the neck like the cats do?”
Here’s another: “Can the pigs have sex in lots of positions like people can?”
These have straightforward answers. So I give them. And, invariably, the more information the kids have, the more detailed the sex talk gets.
My older son has a goat herd of his own, and he borrowed a male goat to get one of his female goats pregnant. The other day he said, “I think I saw some semen coming out of Amber’s vagina. But you can never have too much semen.”
I hear a lot of people say that homeschooled kids are sheltered from talk about sex. But none of the homeschool kids who hang around my kids are sheltered for very long. It’s regular talk in our family because the animals are having sex all around us, and really, that’s how our farm turns a profit.
When you talk about raising your kids amid diversity, I guess this would be what you’re talking about: It’s not skin color. It’s diversity of experience. And my kids can tell when a pig has had too much intercourse and her vagina needs a rest.
But there is charm to all this, too. Because while my son was holding Eva, he was so happy, and so gentle with her. And he said, “I think I’m excited to have sex to make my own baby that I can hold.”