It’s amazing to me that parents who are willing to be academic iconoclasts for homeschooling are suddenly the most conservative people in the world when it comes to college: everyone’s going. Like, the way to prove homeschooling works is your kid goes to college.
But I think it’s actually the opposite. If homeschooling really works then you don’t need to think a lot about college at all. Here’s why
1. Top schools give free rides without high test scores.
Harvard gives scholarships to every kid who is admitted and doesn’t have a ton of family money. So if your kid is really so great academically, he can go to an Ivy League college where the cost is irrelevant and also, test scrores are much less important as a differentiator because what matters is what you’re great at.
2. Have your kids take out loans and default.
One of the hottest things for investors to buy right now is college loans. I get this information from my brother, who is an economist, but he always complains that I misquote him. So I also get this information from the Chronicle of Higher Education. That’s because students can’t declare bankruptcy, but they can’t pay the loans, so they are getting special allowances to pay as low as $15/mo. In the meantime, the government is guaranteeing that it will pay back the loan in x number of years. So if your kid can figure out how to sit on the loan and pay $15/ mo for forever, that would be a great way to go.
3. Your kid can get a cheap, online degree.
When I see an online degree on a resume here’s what I think: The person has good self-knowledge because they know academics isn’t their strength. The person is good at cutting corners and finding low-cost solutions to big problems. And the person doesn’t need external validation in order to feel smart and capable. These are all signs of someone who will do very well in the world of business.
4. Bunch your kids.
Since you’re homeschooling, you have more leeway to decide when kids are ready for college. If you send all your kids to college at one time, you get way more aid than if you do one kid at a time, because aid is often determined based on the percentage of income your family is spending on college tuition. I got this idea from Forbes, which has a list to many other equally as over-the-top suggestions, like sending a kid to the military.
5. Your kid can be an escort.
College-aged women are, of course, the very valuable in the dating world. So why not use that to their advantage? The web site seekingarrangement.com is a great place for women to find a guy who will fund their college in exchange for who-knows-what. And CNN has validated this tactic with a how-to piece for college girls masquerading as a trend piece in the news section.
I know, you’re gonna be up in arms that I’m even suggesting this. But what I’m really suggesting is that kids feel way too much pressure to pay for college, and the pressure continues after college, when they also have to for pay for food and rent and their loan payments.
So figure out a way to show everyone that homeschool works that does not involve a fancy college. Most kids don’t need that degree for their lives. It’s only their parents who think they need it to feel like they made the right decision for their kids.