My son had a friend sleep over the other night. He would be in first-grade, like my six-year-old, who, really, I should have held back a year because all the rich little boys in New York City are being held back a year, and I want my son to be able to compete with them. But water under the bridge, right? Because we are not doing school. And I can just send him to college a year later or something.

So anyway, this boy would be in first-grade, same as my son, and I confess that I grilled the kid about what is going on in school.  I wanted to know what math he was learning. Is he typing? Does he read books with no pictures? Is there fun gym equipment? I start prying:

“So, what are you doing in school?”

“We are doing a Leprechaun hunt.”

“Like, looking for them in the school?”

“Yeah. The class that finds him gets a prize.”

My son says, “Leprechauns are like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. They are fake.”

I glare at my son.

The guest looks at my son. Confused.

But my son does have a point in that all three are Christian motifs that fill up the school year and annoy the living hell out of me as the only Jew in the school. I remind myself that when my son went to kindergarten I kept him home from school many days that seemed set up for the Christians, like the day Santa came to the classroom and the kids told him what they wanted for Christmas.

Look. Don’t tell me that it’s against the law, okay? It’s not. I called the JDL. They were shocked, but they said it’s not against the law. And, really, you’d think bringing in a man dressed in disguise to a school and telling little girls to sit on his lap would be against the law. Maybe that is. I don’t know.

So  the Leprechaun thing made me so upset about having sent my older son to school through third grade that I didn’t bother doing any more investigating.